


Break your old man's heart

by susanowa (panickyintheuk)



Series: Misc bingo fills [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Kid Fic, Legos, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 15:51:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10030217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panickyintheuk/pseuds/susanowa
Summary: Ron threw the Lego thing to the ground, shoved Tony as hard as he could (pretty hard, considering he only came up to Tony’s waist), and made a run for it. Tony took off after him — Jarvis wasn’t going anywhere, he was just standing placidly by the science toys comparing different robot kits — but Ron got swooped up before he could get too far, by some big guy in a name tag. Hopefully he worked in the toy store, and wasn’t a crazy person who just walked around wearing a name tag all the time.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For square Y4 on my bingo card, which is a picture of the Helicarrier.
> 
> I don't know why I seem to gravitate towards kidfic when I'm writing mad dash last minute bingo fills? I don't have a burning desire to write kidfic the rest of the time ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Did I make it? It's still February somewhere! I mean, not here, by a long shot, it's stupid o'clock in the morning here, but it's February somewhere.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ron,” he said, “that’s supposed to be a display, okay? It’s not for playing with. Look, your brother is being good, why can’t you?”

That was a mistake, and Tony knew it was a mistake even before the words had finished leaving his mouth. He’d promised himself a long time ago he would never say shit like that, but God, it had been a long day.

Ron threw the Lego thing to the ground, shoved Tony as hard as he could (pretty hard, considering he only came up to Tony’s waist), and made a run for it. Tony took off after him — Jarvis wasn’t going anywhere, he was just standing placidly by the science toys comparing different robot kits — but Ron got swooped up before he could get too far, by some big guy in a name tag. Hopefully he worked in the toy store, and wasn’t a crazy person who just walked around wearing a name tag all the time. He slung Ron over his shoulder and started strolling towards Tony. Ron was kicking and screaming, but it didn’t make much of a dent, the guy was built. He stroked a circle over Ron’s back, obviously trying to be comforting, but it was Ron, so it was probably just riling him up.

“I’m sorry,” said Tony, ostensibly to the name tag guy — Steve, said name tag helpfully informed him when he got a little closer — but really mostly to Ron. “My bad.”

“I hate you!” wailed Ron, which drowned out whatever Steve was saying.

“Me too, sweetie. That was a really dumb thing I said. But it’s not this poor guy’s fault, is it?” He reached his arms out to take Ron, and get his fair share of the beating, but the guy hesitated. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” said Tony, “I’ll pay for this, just —”

“It’s fine,” said Steve, “it’s Legos, it just needs putting back together.”

“Yeah, but someone’s gotta do it, I’ll pay for the time, or… whatever. Just, can I have my son back?”

“Listen,” said the guy in what was probably supposed to be an undertone, except that he had to pitch it to carry over the noises Ron was making, “we have a room that we let customers use sometimes, like if a mother needs to breastfeed, or… do you want to go in there and let him calm down?”

“I’m sorry he’s making a _scene_ ,” said Tony, bristling.

Steve took a step back. “That’s not —”

“Yes, fine, thank you, whatever, good idea, just can I have my son? Are you holding him hostage until I agree to your demands, or… ?”

“Oh, God, no, I’m sorry,” said Steve, handing Ron over, who squirmed and kicked even more as he was passed over, and continued to as Tony tried to get a hold on him. “I was just —”

“You were trying to be helpful. You’re very nice. I’m sorry.” He adjusted Ron in his arms, kissed the side of his head and rocked him a little. “I’m horrible,” he said.

“You’re not horrible, daddy,” said Jarvis, appearing by his side and pushing his glasses up his nose. God, but he was his father’s son, that one — and so was Ron. Not that they’d ever run tests or anything, but there was no doubt who was Bruce’s and who was Tony’s. And Tony’s was in his arms right now, screaming about how much he hated him. His father’s son for sure. Tony hugged him a little tighter.

“Thanks, Jay,” he said, “but I was horrible to Ron. Look, I upset him.” He looked at Steve. “Hey, thanks, and I’m sorry, again.”

“Do you want to… use the room?”

“What do you think, Ron?” said Tony. “You wanna do that, or do you wanna help daddy and Steve put this Lego back together? And if you do a real good job, maybe we’ll get you a set to play with at daddy’s house, too.” Ron went still and quiet. Tony smiled to himself. “How does that sound?”

“Okay,” said Ron, with an air of great magnanimity. Tony had the vague sense that he was being disapproved of for bribing his child, but whatever, _Steve_.

“That okay with you?” he belatedly asked Steve, who nodded. Now that Tony wasn’t fixated on Ron and how much of an asshole he was ( _Tony_ was, not Ron, although Ron was totally an asshole too, and he came by it honestly), he realized the guy was kind of pretty, and he was biting his lip a little now, which didn’t hurt. Not that Tony was supposed to be noticing stuff like that, he was supposed to still be in mourning for his relationship, right? Not that he’d actually stopped noticing stuff like that even when he was actually _in_ his relationship, so, whatever. “How about you, Jay, you want to play Legos with us?”

“No, thank you, daddy,” said Jarvis. “I want to make this solar robot, please.”

“Well, we have to buy it first, honey.”

Jarvis frowned. “Why does Ron get to play with his toy here and I have to wait? I was good, wasn’t I?”

“Yeah, but this is the store’s, not Ron’s. We’re just fixing it right now. Why don’t you help us out, and then we can buy the robot for ho— for daddy’s house?”

“Okay,” said Jarvis, not overly enthused.

“I mean,” Tony muttered to himself as he sat cross-legged on the ground and started picking up stray Legos, “I could _make_ you a much better robot, and it wouldn’t cost sixty dollars, but what fun would that be?”

“Sorry?” said Steve, sitting down across from him looking amused, or possibly bemused.

“Nothing. What’s this thing supposed to be, anyway?”

“It’s a Helicarrier,” said Steve.

“A what?”

“It’s from the Avengers cartoon?”

“ _Oh_ , right,” said Tony. “The superheroes. Yeah, these guys love that show. Tell him who your favorite is, Ronnie.”

“Doom!” said Ron, all traces of hysterics completely vanished in the face of little plastic bricks.

“Yeah,” said Tony, raising a significant eyebrow at Steve. “Ronnie loves Doom.”

Steve hid a smile. “And what about you, Jay? Your name’s Jay, right?”

“Jarvis,” said Jarvis. “Jay is for short.”

“And do you have a favorite?”

“Iron Man,” said Jarvis easily. “Iron Man is very smart.”

“He is very smart,” agreed Steve. “He’s my favorite, too.”

“You watch Avengers?” asked Ron suspiciously.

“Sure do,” said Steve.

“You have kids of your own?” Tony asked.

“Uh, no,” said Steve, ducking his head. “I’m just a fan of animation.”

“Oh, you’re one of _those_ ,” Tony teased him.

Steve shrugged. “Guess so,” he said. For a second they were looking right at each other, and Steve was smiling at him, and his face was just a little pink — but then he looked away abruptly. “Anyway, it’s a fun show,” he said, evidently concentrating very hard on getting some blue translucent thingy in the right place.

“Well, thanks for the recommendation,” said Tony. “I’m really more of a Dora guy, but —”

“Dora’s for babies,” Ron said. He was pretty squarely in the demographic for Dora, in fact, Tony was pretty sure. _You’re a baby_ , Tony wanted to say, and maybe pinch his chubby little cheek for good measure, but he settled for ruffling his hair instead. Ron smacked his hand away.

“You’re right. Maybe I should watch Avengers with you guys instead, huh?”

“You’ll like it,” said Jarvis confidently.

~

They got the display version of the Helicarrier put back together, and took a boxed version — as well as Jarvis’ solar robot — to the checkout to be rung up.

“That’ll be $409.98,” said Steve.

Tony blinked at him. “Excuse me?”

“Uh, so, the solar robot is $59.99, and the Helicarrier is $349.99,” said Steve uncertainly.

“Three hundred and forty nine ninety-nine _dollars American_? Do you throw in an actual aircraft carrier as a freebie? What is that, like 5 dollars per brick?”

“I think there are actually —”

“Yes, I know, it’s fine. Forget it, Jake, it’s Legoland. Jarvis, go and get like five more robots, then you guys are even.”

Jarvis blinked at him. “Are you being serious, daddy?”

“Sir,” said Steve dubiously.

“It’s fine, believe me, the wolf’s not at the door,” said Tony.

“Yes, but…”

“One toy _each_ , you said!” protested Ron.

“I did say that,” agreed Tony, “but your toy turned out to cost the same amount as the new education budget.”

“I don’t want six store robots, daddy,” said Jarvis. “We can build better robots than this at home.”

“That’s what I — why do you want that one, then?”

“It’s just the only thing here I liked that I don’t already have,” said Jarvis. “You got me the telescope and the planetarium, and papa got me the chemistry set…”

Tony sighed. “Okay. Sorry. Daddy’s being crazy, huh?”

Jarvis smiled at him and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Daddy can we _go_?” said Ron.

“Yeah, bud, just a second,” said Tony, handing Steve his credit card. “So. Steve. You may have noticed that I appear to be careening towards a nervous breakdown right now.”

“I have days like that, too,” said Steve mildly. He was actually very pretty indeed, now Tony was really thinking about it.

“Yeah, well, if you ever feel like having some company while you watch Avengers. Or anything. No, forget it, I’m being inappropriate, I’m sorry.”

“Uh,” said Steve.

“Yeah,” agreed Tony. “Very creepy.”

Steve stared at him. “No,” he said, “I mean, I don’t know. I mean, what about…” he gestured at the kids.

Tony frowned at him. “What, you don’t like kids? You thought about getting a job _anywhere other_ than a toy store?”

“No, but,” said Steve. “I mean, you’re single?”

“Well, obviously,” said Tony, “you think I would hit on a clerk in a toy store in front of my kids if I weren’t single? Don’t answer that, I have made nothing but a terrible impression today, of course you would think that.”

“I don’t think that!” said Steve. “Um. Here.” He scribbled his number on the receipt. He held it out, and Tony took it, but he didn’t let go right away. Tony tugged a little, and Steve held on, and he smiled at him, and he didn’t look away.

“ _Daddy_ ,” said Ron, “can we _go_?”

**Author's Note:**

> I have thought about, and irrationally love, this universe quite a lot considering I basically pulled it out of my arse in the last couple of hours. Pepper is the biological mother, and Tony may very well be mistaken about his children's genetics. He's not hurting for money or anything but he's not so rich that he can't tell Lego is expensive. And yes, that is the actual price of the Lego Helicarrier!
> 
> It physically hurts me to write "Legos" but I know that's what Americans say, I hope you appreciate the sacrifice I'm making to authenticity here. "Legos".
> 
> Oh and Ron is Ultron, that was clear right?


End file.
